"Take a ride on the next plane
'Coz this one can't have you
Bring out the light in the dark
Take a number, fall in line..."
Damn... It's been so so long now. I've kinda missed this journal. Then again, there have been so much drama that went on here that I find myself trying to avoid even as little as a glance or thought of this page. I've bled my life here... but mostly my pains and loose ends. Things seem to be getting better, though. The keyword being "seems". I really wouldn't know now, but I think my life's having a direction for once. Great. Wait 'til I'm actually seventeen to figure out priorities. Well, at least I'm improving and I actually got there.
UPCATs will come up soon, and before I know it, ACET and DLSUCET. I'm kinda getting my course ideas together. At least I've decided on a Pre-Med course. Either BS Psych or Computer Science... If not BS Molecular Bio. Being a biologist, in the sense of animals, seems kinda cool, too. It would probably fit me more than a doctor would. I'm not the doctor type, it seems, although I want to be one. I'm a pessimistic, morbid and angsty little weirdo and I'll treat patients? O.O Wow. That's something. Being a herpetologist or marine biologist sounds kinda cool, but then again, I'd have a hard time with that. *sigh* Oh well. I do hope I get to figure it out soon.
Well, It's my birthday today. I was never fond of this day. I always thought of it as a normal day, although... I do find it special sometimes. This is not one of those times. People keep asking me what I'll do today. Will I go out? Watch a movie? Etc.? Argh. I have NO IDEA. I don't have any ideas in mind. I could care less if I did go out or not. But I guess my mom just wants me to go out with my cuz, Maxine, since she's here. Oh well. Whatever.
School started out rather okay. Aileah and I are civil again. Friends? I think so... but I'm not so sure, since I get these weird vibes from her that she doesn't wanna hang with me. I've been talking to and texting Rai for most of the summer and even went out a few times, so I guess that's cool too, since we still kinda do that now. She's really like Toni, in a way, although still very different. So that's cool. XD I miss Toni, though. O.O Things were always rather fun when she was around. Even the drama was amusing at least a little bit.
Summer was rather uneventful, except for my lola's death. My cousin's from the US and other relatives came here to go to her funeral and such. It was actually great. I got to see them after such a long time. I know my lola would have liked it. We all kinda had fun together, my cousins and I. Despite the fact that there was a death, it wasn't all mourning. And I'm sure, yet again, my lola would have wanted it that way. She was always a happy person. She'd make jokes and the like. She was nice and all that. I never really bothered much with spending time with her and all that, but I did like her a lot. I was just really not the type to get too close to family. I think my cousins and I grew closer, though. We shared a lot this summer, like the other summers I'd spend with them in the US when I went there. It was always a nice experience hanging out with them. Despite the time that we spent apart, we still always manage to talk like we've known each other our whole lifetimes. It's really great.
Crap. I'm being sentimental and I'm reminiscing. O.O Not exactly very "me", is it? Well, maybe I have changed. Maybe I haven't. Personally, I don't care and I don't give a fuck whether I did or not. As far as this moment is concerned, I'm okay.
"Nothing would matter if you just wouldn't care."